Monday, April 27, 2009

Some Basic definitions..

College : Place where you're punished for getting Average HSC marks.

Babe : After two years in college, anything remotely female, qualifies for that title...esp for arts & Commerce guys...

Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...

Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...

Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen

Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby.

(No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

Lectures : Waste of time.. physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP

Tutions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....

Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.

Vernac Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes
packaged with his own brand of English ("Now you check me our journal." "You out get from class." "Are you Understand, ?" "Both of you two come here", "Draw a square of any shape")

Practicals : 60 to 120 minutes in which you watch the girls do
your programs, and usually destroy atleast a key in key board.

Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in
your group (simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the mouse & monitor, and finally copy it from the girls of course...or from guyz who get it from gals).

[B]. The Truth about exams....

Timing : when ur non science GF/BF is free to enjoy while u
slog with submissions & exams

Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you

Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...

Arrear : Makes you suicidal.. the WAY of life...

Year Drop : Makes dad homicidal.

Re-verification: A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the arrear exam).

[C]. An MCA's 10 commandments of Life -

1. Thou shalt study only during the study leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals/lab records only on the morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 45 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUT-standing student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST.
9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four-lettered word.

[D]. The Years of College

F.C. Fond of College

S.C. Sick Of College

T.c. Tired of College


No comments: